.WHERE DO I BEGIN?

Fernweh

(n.) an ache for distant places; the craving for travel

Hello there,

I am C., what’s the craic like?

It all started back in December 2012 when I had the chance to go for a holiday in Dublin for New Year’s Eve. Like many things that have happened in my life recently, everything was very random and the result of a series of coincidences, life would not be thrilling otherwise.

In order to make any sense at all, I will go back a little further; 2012 has been quite a year for me, a lot of things going on and a bad break-up to go through. At the same time I started to use Google + and met a lovely guy from India S., we have talked for several months and he helped me through my break-up and eventually decided to come and visit me in Rome. He stayed at my house and to be grateful towards me he offered me a trip to an European capital and I picked Dublin, since it was one of the few European capitals I did not visit. I was naive, I thought it was just a friend and took up his offer to go: how could I refuse such opportunity?, I just could not: Fernweh.

claudia pelagatti

Things get complicated, way too complicated. • It turned out that S. actually had feelings for me and I could not deal with the whole situation the right way as seen as I was already troubled. At the same time I planned on meeting with another Irish chap St., because I was after some harmless fun and I am always up for meeting new people, especially locals.

I love to take a risk, part of my constant craving to live a thrilling life, this time I risked a bit too much. • I did not know St., ran into him on a dating website and decided to meet up despite him acting very weird and not knowing his real age. My Indian friend S. agreed to meet up with him, and we were literally scared, because as I suspected this guy was not normal at all, which is alright, but up to a certain extent.

After our first meeting, I decided not to meet up with St. again, but I soon changed my mind, because I am curious and way too attracted to dangerous situations. A weird situation developed and it soon turned into some sort of fucked up love triangle, which to think about it all again, it is really awkward. Eventually I came back to Rome, really enjoyed this surreal holiday, despite at first Dublin seemed quite a sad and melancholic city.

I believe in the fact that everything happens for a reason, I believe in destiny. • Before my trip to Dublin I pretty much contacted anyone on a dating website to have some harmless fun with. One of the people I contacted was F., an Italian guy who lived in Dublin and for whom I had no interest whatsoever. Now I need to explain a couple of things to make it clearer. I am Italian, to be precise Roman, and I have never had an Italian boyfriend before, nor I have been very attracted to someone, who was Italian. You might wonder why, and the answer is I have no idea. I speak English most of the time, and I like the sound of it. I like what is exotic and different from what I am used to, hence I have never considered to interact with an Italian guy and needless to say, as soon as I found out he was Italian I gave him the cold shoulder right away. For whatever reason I decided to add F. on Skype and started to talk to him, but I had never developed an interest of all sorts. He used to talk about his dating scene and people he went out with, and so did I. I am a very open person, and I remember that when I asked him to show me a photo of the girl he was dating he refused, so I pretty much stopped talking to him since, because I came to terms that he was not willing to be open with me, like I was. Despite it all we did talk once on Skype and it was awful, I felt stared at, and all he asked me was whether or not I was on drugs, just because I am naturally hyper.

Time flies by, months went by quickly. • I scan through my Skype list every now and again and delete the people I have not talked to for a while, among those there was F. Now, I have no idea why I did not delete him back then, and chance was that we started to talk again. He was pretty pushy to see me on Skype, but I kept making up stuff in order to avoid such traumatic experience again. Eventually, one day, I started to talk to him and for whatever reason I felt very attracted to him and decided to give him another chance.

Life is weird, life is a gift. • F., who is he now? I already said he is an Italian guy, who lives in Dublin, and he is a guy who managed to catch my attention, which is something tricky. Yes, I never admit things, but I really got hung up on him. We talked everyday, and I had that stupid grin on my face, which I do not like, because it means I am loosing the grip, and I have no control over things. He came to visit his family in Italy in May, and made the most of the situation to come and visit me in Rome.

It happened, of course it happened. You can’t challenge chemistry. • He came to Rome, we did it, we were both attracted to each other, and I do not regret it. As of now I still talk to him and he will come to visit me for my graduation in July. Finally, after a long while, I can say I am happy again.

What’s Dublin got to do with everything? • Destiny • I was trying to go to study abroad and my first choice was Saint Andrews in Scotland, but I sadly got rejected, so I started to apply for a lot of universities in the UK and Ireland. My second choice was Trinity College in Dublin and I made it. Call it however you want, but I really look forward to moving and start a new life over there. A new life in a city that had some sort of meaning in a particular moment of my life and a city in which I hope I will make a lot of wonderful memories.

I will be visiting Dublin again with my family in August and I will eventually move towards mid September. I will keep you posted and I decided to open this blog to talk about my daily wanderlust in Baile Átha Cliath.

With his first hello
He gave new meaning to this empty world of mine